


Tildeath

by rezi



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Doomed Timeline, Gen, Horror, Murder, SGRUB
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-06 23:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rezi/pseuds/rezi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A crazed killer hunts down and kills his team mates one by one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Light

**Author's Note:**

> New year, new fic!  
> First fic in my FESTIVE FATHERLOAD, the sequel to my Christmas Day MERRY MOTHERLOAD. There will be more fics before the day is out!  
> And I have been working on this one for _months_... the feeling of being able to publish an entire quarter of it in one humungous chunk is the most satisfying thing ever.
> 
> Based on [this doomed timeline. The main difference from the alpha timeline is that Sollux's curse wasn't activated, none of the trolls' lusi died and they all had to prototype other things instead.](http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005507)

The air hummed. Rays of soft light lent their warmth and illumination to the ground, giving an aura of contentment to the entire planet. The harmonious croaks of every type of frog imaginable provided some gentle background music.

For the first time in so long, Karkat felt at peace.

"I can't believe this has gone so well," he thought out loud.

"One second," Kanaya called over, busy handling two brightly-coloured amphibians. She placed them neatly on their lily pads, then joined her team mate.

Karkat continued. "It's been... what, four hundred hours? We've actually pretty much breezed through this."

"We are not entirely incompetent," she enunciated.

"Ha, don't kid yourself. We're a team of imbeciles. Incompetent imbeciles."

"Incombeciles?"

Karkat smiled a little. "Haha. Yeah. Says a lot that our team needs an entire new word created for it just to encompass our bulge-numbing idiocy."

Kanaya allowed herself a giggle. "Wordplay aside, haven't we proven ourselves to be in fact the exact opposite of incombeciles through our surprisingly efficient completion of this session?"

"I guess," he pondered. "Once we actually managed to get Eridan on task and stop him shooting all those goddamn angels, "evventually". And even Tavros got shit done with that rocket chair."

She noticed how tired he was. The bags under his eyes were darker than ever; his movements were sluggish. "Have you been awake the entire time?"

"Someone's gotta lead this lot."

"Perhaps you should get some sleep," she suggested. "Surely you could allow yourself some slumber now."

He deferred his reply, instead posing the question: "Have you heard from Gamzee lately?"

"Gamzee?" This threw her a little. She'd almost forgotten about him entirely. "No, I suppose I have not."

"Now he's the biggest incombecile of all. Haven't seen him in days..." His forehead crinkled, some stress returning to him. "What happened with his quests?"

"If I recall correctly, Terezi completed her quests ahead of schedule and finished all of his for him to relieve her ennui."

"Fucking showoff." He smiled. "I should probably check on him, though."

"Your husktop's over there," she gestured. "Feel free to message him, I shall busy myself with the remaining paradoxes to fulfil."

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling  terminallyCapricious [TC]  
CG: KARKAT TO MORON, KARKAT TO MORON! CAN YOU HEAR ME, MORON?  
TC: MoRoN?  
CG: YES. THAT'S YOU.  
TC: oH. hEy, BrO!  
CG: WHAT IN FUCK'S NAME HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THE ENTIRE SESSION LONG?  
TC: uHhH, nOt MuCh...  
CG: YES, WE ARE AWARE OF THAT.  
TC: I'vE bEeN cHiLlIn In My HiVe HeRe!  
TC: AlL uP aNd KiCkIn ThE wIcKeD sHiT wItH mY bEsT bRo ClOwNsPrItE!  
CG: OH MY NUBSLURPING GOD.  
CG: I'VE TOLD YOU EXACTLY FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY MILLION TIMES, CLOWNSPRITE IS FUCKING CREEPY.  
TC: yOu HaVe?  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: BACK IN THE DAYS WHEN WE ACTUALLY DID THIS THING CALLED SOCIAL INTERACTION.  
CG: YOU REMEMBER THAT? ANY MEMORIES STASHED AWAY IN YOUR INCH-WIDE THINK PAN OF WHEN, ONCE UPON A TIME, YOU ACTUALLY WENT OUTSIDE?  
TC: UhHhHhH,  
TC: nO?  
CG: AUGGHFHHFDHHF  
TC: sOrRy, BrO, tHe PaN aIn'T aLl ToO wElL tOdAy.  
TC: RuNnIn LoW oN tHe SlImE :o(  
TC: BuT i'M tElLiN yA mAn, ClOwNsPrItE iS tHe AlL kInDs Of DoPe.  
TC: He'S aLl TeLlIn At Me AlL kInDs Of BiTcHtItS pReAcHiNgS!  
CG: WHAT  
CG: YOU MEAN HE'S FILLING YOUR HEAD WITH ALL YOUR CLOWN RELIGION BULLSHIT??????  
TC: nO wAy, ThIs ShIt Is ThE rEaL dEaL mY nInJa!  
CG: IT SURE AS *FUCKING* HELL IS NOT.  
TC: AwWw BrO yOu DoN't AlL uP aNd GoT tO bE a MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLe ThIeF oN mE.  
TC: iT aIn'T cOoL :o(  
CG: YEAH, WELL, GUESS WHAT. MIRACLES AREN'T COOL EITHER.  
CG: BYE.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling  terminallyCapricious [TC]

"Kanaya..." She was at one of the ponds, having far too much fun playfully splashing the frogs inside it. "Can you quit that shit for a minute and let me borrow your jetpack?"

"May I inquire as to why?" Kanaya left the frogs alone and uncaptchalogued the jetpack. It was marvellously elegant, as all things Kanaya owned: pure white, with the unseemly rocket boosters covered by green-tipped gracefully sloping wings. "Is there a purpose you require it for? Or do you just request it for your personal enjoyment? Rest assured I will not begrudge you the latter."

"No, it's not that, I..." He wasn't all that fond of flying, actually. Too much air buffetting him non-stop. Plus he got air-sick. "I need to check on Gamzee. Get him away from fucking Clownsprite for once."

"I thoroughly understand," Kanaya asserted, shuddering visibly. She handed over the jetpack. "Gamzee's land is quite a way away, though. Be prepared for a great deal of gate-hopping."

"Yeah, yeah." Strapping himself in securely to lessen this ride's unpleasantness as much as possible, Karkat pressed the button and blasted off. "See you."

Off he soared into the empty sky.


	2. Rage

At last. After hours of gate-hopping, he was touching down in Gamzee's gaudy land. Tents and mirth and vivid stabbing colours that assaulted his vision wherever he went. Sometimes he was grateful for only having pulse and haze.

Gamzee's hive was fairly easy to see: a chunk of grey conflicting with the neon rainbow nightmare all around. Karkat waded through tent flaps and openings to get there, too busy raging incessantly at everything around him to notice anything strange. Like the fact that some of the tents, more and more as he comes nearer, had been torn to shreds.

Eventually, though, he did begin to hear things ever so slightly amiss. Was that... _growling?_ Probably imps or ogres or something. Terezi's fault for prototyping a scalemate, now all the monsters looked like dragons. At least it was easy to cleave through plush.

The door was slightly ajar. He knocked four times, then barged straight in. What he saw...

What he saw was almost a battleground. Pie tins were strewn everywhere, some looking as though they'd been flung across the room. Slime stains bled through everything, some with fingerprints of where he must have tried to scratch it off and get some more precious morsels for himself. The recuperacoon was empty. More than empty, in fact: torn apart in desperate search for sopor.

Gamzee had gone.

Bursting back through the door, Karkat's gaze darted about the empty world, hoping to find his friend. There was nothing. The only movement was the tents flapping in the breeze.

And... that.

It had been just out of the corner of his eye, whatever it was. He took a glance over there to find out, but it was gone. Too fast to be one of these stupid tents, for sure...

And again. Closer this time, close enough for him to have heard the air that it cut through, even to have felt its movement on his forehead. He looked around wildly, scanning the surroundings for whatever it might have been. 

Then it swept in over his head, through the doorway and inside. The breeze behind it ripped through his hair and nearly blew him away; cautious, he turned around.

It was just Gamzee's sprite, Clownsprite. Nothing to be afraid of. Sprites were meant to help the players, after all... it was just that, with evil eyes and manic grin like that, Karkat couldn't help but be creeped out anyway.

Then he got a tap on the shoulder.

Whirling round, Karkat saw Gamzee looming before him; he'd never seen him standing straight before, he was easily six feet tall. All the light from outside had been blotted out behind him, leaving everything in the dark.

From what Karkat could barely see of him, he was a mess. His paint was smeared all around his face, his eyes dark in shadow. He took long strides forwards, forcing Karkat to scurry backwards so he wasn't trodden on. 

"Hey, best friend." His voice was utterly different to anything Karkat had heard from him before. Almost... vicious. Mocking.

Karkat forced a smile. "Oh! Gamzee! Hi! Haven't, uh... seen you..." He dropped the act and instead focused on attempting not to look absolutely terrified. 

"HAVEN'T SEEN ME?" he bellowed, then let out a bellicose chuckle. "Haven't seen much of you either, bro. SHOWS HOW MUCH YOU CARE, DOESN'T IT?" Another chuckle; he swung a juggling club over his shoulder. 

"We were busy with... with the game!" Karkat stammered, stumbling back a few more paces.

"Always too busy for stupid, useless Gamzee. YEAH, I GET IT!" He gave him a shove: Karkat went sprawling over backwards. 

"And you could have been saved," he taunted, a juggling club in each hand pressed to the floor on either side of Karkat. He rocked forward, looming in above him. "COULD HAVE JOINED ME IN MY HOLY MOTHERFUCKING CRUSADE!"

Clownsprite swooped over, leering over Gamzee's shoulder. "Got a new best bro now. HE'S ALWAYS THERE FOR ME, UNLIKE SOME MOTHERFUCKERS!" The grinning purple sprite shot down to swirl around behind Karkat, its cold form uncomfortably close. "BEEN UP AND PREACHING AT ME, BRO. Telling me all the truths about my destiny. AND YOU COULD HAVE JOINED ME IN IT, BROTHER! If you'd motherfucking cared."

With Clownsprite chilling his bones, all Karkat could manage was: "D... destiny?"

"AS DESCENDANT OF THE HIGH SUBJUGGLATORS! Continuing their righteous motherfucking legacy. CRUSHING THE WORTHLESS LOWBLOODS BENEATH MY FEET!" He leant in close, every tooth in his mouth visible in his crazed grin. "I'd have to kill you one day anyway, bro. NO MUTANTS IN MY CARNIVAL!"

Panicking like mad, Karkat lashed out; a lucky kick caught Gamzee in the stomach and he ran blindly for the light. Clownsprite zoomed after him, but Karkat activated Kanaya's jetpack just in time to lose him. 

He flew and fled and flew, never looking back.

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on private board WE'RE ALL FUCKED.  
CCG added CAA to memo.  
CAA could not be added to memo.  
CCG added CAA to memo.  
CAA could not be added to memo.  
CCG added CAA to memo.  
CCG added CAA to memo.  
CCG added CAA to memo.  
CCG added CAA to memo.  
CCG added CAA to memo.  
\-- Please refrain from spamming! --  
CAA could not be added to memo.  
CCG: FUCK IT.  
CCG added CAT to memo.  
CCG added CTA to memo.  
CCG added CAC to memo.  
CCG added CGA to memo.  
CCG added CGC to memo.  
CCG added CAG to memo.  
CCG added CCT to memo.  
CCG added CCA to memo.  
CCG added CCC to memo.  
CAT: wHAT,,,, wHAT IS THIS,,,,  
CGC: >:?  
CCG: NOW YOU'RE ALL HERE, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BE QUICK. I DON'T THINK WE'VE GOT MUCH TIME.  
CAG: Whaaaaaaaat? We've got aaaaaaaages! It's days until the Reckoning!  
CCG: NO NO NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.  
CCG: IT'S NOT THAT.  
CCG: IT'S GAMZEE.  
CAC: :33 < gamz33?  
CCG: YES! "GAMZ33"!  
CCG: HE'S GONE FUCKING INSANE!  
CCC: GAMZ-E-E???  
CCC: You gotta be pulling my frond, Karcrab!  
CCG: NO I AM "GLUBBING" WELL *NOT*.  
CCG: IT'S HAPPENED. BARD OF RAGE? LOOKS LIKE THAT TITLE'S LITERAL.  
CCG: AND WE LITERALLY HAVE A REALLY NOOKSHITTINGLY ANGRY BARD RAGING THROUGH OUR SESSION RIGHT NOW.  
CCC: )(A)(A)(A)(A!  
CCC: O)( Carpcatch, as if!  
CCC: It is V-ERY funny to imagine t)(at t)(oug)(! 38D  
CCT: D --> Can we cease the frivolous imaginings  
CCT: D --> We do have a session to complete  
CAC: :33 < yeah!!!  
CAC: :33 < me and equius were in the middle of some really sw33t roleplaying here :33  
CCT: D --> Nepeta, I thought I told you not to a100de to that to anyone who wasn't me  
CAC: :33 < oops ://  
CAG: Hahahahahahahaha! Equius, you've 8een playing her games for wigglers????????  
CAG: Oh, how very 8lue-8lood high-and-mighty of you!  
CCT: D --> Can we  
CCT: D --> Can we please e%amine a different topic here  
CCG: YES, AS MUCH AS I ENJOY SEEING THIS BULGESNIFFER LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT, THERE IS AN IMPORTANT MATTER TO BE DISCUSSED HERE.  
CCG: SPECIFICALLY: BATSHIT GAMZEE.  
CAT: i,,,,, rEALLY DON'T BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE,, sAYING,,,, sOMETHING THAT IS TRUE HERE,,,,,,,,  
CAT: gAMZEE, iS MY FRIEND,,,, aND NICE,,,,,,,  
CCG: NOT ANY MORE HE ISN'T.  
CCG: COME ON, IS THERE ANYONE FROM THE FUTURE TO BACK ME UP HERE???  
CCG: ASSUMING YOU'RE NOT ALL *DEAD*!!!!!!!  
FUTURE twinArmageddons [FTA] 22 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FTA: yeah, actually, iit'2 all true.  
FTA: ii'm goiing two go diie now, ii'm doomed anyway.  
FTA: y'all fuckface2 can take your chance2.  
FTA: 2ee you on the other 2ide biitche2.  
FTA banned himself from responding to memo.  
CCG: NOW DO YOU SEE????  
CGC: NO 1 DONT >:D  
CCG: YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING WELL MEAN.  
CCA: seriously kar  
CCA: if you expect me to believve anythin that comes out a that piss bloods squawwker  
CCA: then i got to wworry about your sanity  
CCT: D --> I concur  
CCT: D --> Surely I am not e%pected to trust the insincerities of a lowb100d  
CTA: thank2 guy2.  
CCG: NO, SOLLUX, BACK ME UP ON THIS.  
CTA: hmmmm nah.  
CTA: iit'2 actually hiilariiou2 how worked up you're gettiing here, ii'm laughiing my a22 off at all thii2.  
CTA: ii wa2 probably ju2t me22iing wiith you. and now you're goiing two get even madder.  
CTA: ahaha, thii2 2hiit ii2 comedy GOLD, hiigh fiive future me.  
CAG: Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!  
CAG: Karkat, just drop it now, no one's 8uying your laaaaaaaame comedy shtick.  
CAG: Are they, Tavros?  
CAT: yEAH, uH, nO,,,  
CAT: aLL tHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS, lAME AND STUPID AND,, lAME,,,,,,,  
CCG: YOU KNOW WHAT?  
CCG: FUCK YOU ALL.  
CCG: LAUGH AT ME ALL YOU WANT  
CCG: BUT YOU SURE AS HELL WON'T BE LAUGHING WHEN YOUR BLOOD'S PAINTING THE FLOOR.  
CGC: WH4T COLORS YOUR BLOOD  
CCG: FUCK OFF.  
CCG: AND SOLLUX, THIS APPLIES TO YOU ESPECIALLY.  
CCG: GO FUCK YOURSELF UP THE WEIRD MUTANT GENITALIA.  
CCG: WITH A 2X3DENT.  
CCG: "BRO".  
CCG: BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY I AM GETTING MAD AT YOU.  
CCG: THERE ARE LITERALLY HUNDREDS OF VALID REASONS FOR ME TO DO SO, BUT I WON'T.  
CCG: I AM RESTRAINING MYSELF, WHICH IS A THING YOU BULGELICKERS SHOULD REALLY LEARN HOW TO DO, TO MAKE SURE THAT NOT ONE OF YOU CAN SOMEHOW MANAGE TO SQUEEZE A SINGLE DROP OF PATHETIC AMUSEMENT FROM MY FEARSOME RAGE THAT WOULD MAKE YOU TREMBLE IN AWE IF YOU WEREN'T ALL BRAINDEAD.  
CTA: lmao.  
CCG: FUCK YOU.  
CGC: H4H4H4H4444  
CCG: AND YOU.  
CAC: :33 < karkat im sorry but it doesnt s33m that way!  
CAC: :33 < youre just yowling on and on and its really not helping your case ://  
CCG: AND YOU!  
CCG: SERIOUSLY, HOW AM I NOT BEING PERFECTLY FUCKING REASONABLE HERE????  
CGA: Karkat I Must Side With Nepeta Here  
CGA: You Are Convincing Nobody  
CCG: BUT  
CCG: I  
CCG: FINE.  
CCG: WHATEVER.  
CCG closed memo.


	3. Life

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling  grimAuxilatrix [GA]  
CG: KANAYA  
CG: OH GOD KANAYA  
CG: PLEASE SAY YOU BELIEVE ME  
GA: Well  
GA: Not Entirely  
CG: OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK  
CG: BUT  
CG: YOU KNEW I WAS GOING TO CHECK ON HIM  
CG: I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP, REALLY, I'M NOT  
GA: I Assure You That I Am Not Making Such An Insinuation  
GA: However There Are Other Factors To Be Considered  
GA: Are You Aware Of The Reputation Of Your Memos  
CG: HA, YOU MEAN THE ROMANCE BULLETINS?  
GA: Yes Exactly  
GA: So Youll Understand If Messages Like Yours Are Greeted With A Certain Amount Of Skepticism  
GA: Also This Is Gamzee We Are Talking About  
GA: I Would Be More Inclined To Believe You If It Was  
GA: For Instance  
GA: Eridan  
GA: You As Well As I Must Be Aware Of His Numerous Genocidal Schemings In The Past  
GA: Hence This Behavior Would Be As Less Of A Shock Coming From Him  
GA: But Gamzee  
GA: You Can Understand My Incredulity  
CG: YEAH, YEAH, I GET IT.  
CG: BASICALLY, I'M TOO MUCH OF AN IDIOT AND GAMZEE'S TOO MUCH OF AN IDIOT FOR ANYONE TO BELIEVE THIS.  
GA: I Dont Want To Be Harsh  
GA: But  
GA: Yes  
GA: That Is About The Size Of It  
CG: FUUUUUCK.  
CG: WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE FOR PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY REALIZE THEIR LIVES ARE IN *ACTUAL MORTAL FUCKING DANGER?????*  
GA: Well  
GA: They Do Say That If You Witness An Eventuality Or Concept With Your Own Lookstubs Then The Notion Of Its Potential Reality Is More Likely To Become Ingrained Into Your Own Think Pan  
CG: HUH?  
GA: Seeing Is Believing  
CG: OH  
CG: SO THAT MEANS  
GA: Im Afraid So  
GA: If People Are To Believe Gamzees Supposed Murderous Intent  
GA: Then They Will Have To Witness His Murderous Handiwork Firsthand  
CG: SO YOU'RE SAYING SOMEONE'S GOTTA DIE????  
GA: That Is  
GA: About The Size Of It  
CG: NO, NO, FUCK THAT SHIT.  
CG: NO ONE'S DYING TODAY, NOT IF I CAN HELP IT.  
GA: Not Even Gamzee  
CG: ...  
GA: Something Must Be Done About Him  
CG: I  
CG: JUST  
CG: WE'LL SAVE THAT SHIT FOR LATER, OKAY?  
GA: Where Are You Now  
CG: WENT THROUGH GAMZEE'S GATE, NOW I'M ON LOSAZ.  
GA: Alright  
GA: Warn Tavros  
GA: Then Vriska  
GA: Then You Will Have Returned To Me  
GA: Perhaps The News Will Penetrate Better If Told In Person  
CG: BUT I'VE MADE SUCH A GOOD HIDING PLACE HERE!  
CG: DO I HAVE TO LEAVE IT ALREADY???  
GA: Really  
GA: What Building Materials Even Are There In Losaz With Which A Decent Hiding Place Can Be Built  
CG: THERE'S ENOUGH  
GA: Karkat  
GA: You Havent Just Made Yourself A Fort From Sand Have You  
CG: ...  
CG: NO  
GA: Warn The Others  
GA: Ill See You Soon

"Tavros!"

He was charging towards a motionless training dummy in his wheelchair, battle lance at the ready. With a blur of wheels and weapon, its sharpened point struck home straight into the figure's heart.

"Tavros!"

"Huh?"

Panting like mad, Karkat stopped running near the lifeless, disfigured corpse of the dummy to catch his breath and deliver his warning.

"Gamzee," he managed to say.

"Oh, uh, are you coming here about that? Because, still, I really don't believe that Gamzee could possibly ever, uh..."

Snapping upright with vicious speed, Karkat clamped a hand over the boy's mouth. "Quit your stuttering and fucking listen already!"

Tavros couldn't exactly reply to that, so Karkat began:

"He's snapped. Gone fucking batshit crazy. Seriously, I just came from his land and he's created his own whirling hell back there already. And he said he's coming for us. You and me and everyone. I don't care what kind of friendship or weird red thing you two might have had together, that's all gone now. He's coming. And it's good that you're training fighting because you'll need that. He's coming for you, and you'd better be fucking ready."

Tavros put a hand up; Karkat let him speak.

"I. Uhh. How do I know you're right? Because I know Gamzee, really well, and I do not think he would hurt me. Because. Well, he likes me. Really, a lot. I don't understand, why would he hurt me?"

"Oh my god, why don't you listen? He's not in his right mind, he's snapped and turned into a fucking wannabe serial killer murderclown! Don't think you're safe from him just because, once upon a time, he told you he was flushed for you. That's all gone. He told me he was his best friend all the time, and he sure wasn't friendly back there."

"I..." The poor boy looked conflicted. "I guess, uh, I'll have to look out for him?"

"Yeah. Good luck." And with that, he began making his way to the next gate, off to Vriska's land.

The winds changed in Land of Sand and Zephyr. The warming west wind petered out, replaced by a chilling blast from the east.

Tavros shivered. The wind pummelled him from the side, tearing through his clothes and piercing his flesh. Any more jousting practice would be impossible in this weather -- best go inside. At least the sopor left in his recuperacoon could provide him with some warmth.

Putting his lance away and rolling himself inside to the safety of his hive, Tavros realised how tired he was. So much physical exertion, with no way to tell apart night and day here... Definitely time to sleep.

Lowering himself into the slime, the last thing he saw before closing his eyes was a picture Gamzee had drawn of him a sweep ago. Scrawled and sopor-stained, Tavros still couldn't help but love it -- the guy couldn't draw and both of them knew it, but he'd still insisted on drawing a picture of his best motherfuckin' bro. And even after all that had happened between them, and the awkwardness that had settled between them, Tavros still couldn't find it in him to take it down.

Tavros went to sleep, knowing fully that he was safe.  
  
  
  
  
  
honk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I'm going to sleep now because wow 2014 is proving to be exhausting already. But THERE ARE MORE FICS TO COME!)


	4. Mind

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on private board WE'RE ALL FUCKED.  
CCG added  CAA to memo.  
CAA could not be added to memo.  
CCG: WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE????  
CAT could not be added to memo.  
CCG: OH GOD  
CCG: OH NO OH MAN OH GOD  
CCG added  CTA to memo.  
CCG added  CAC to memo.  
CCG added  CGA to memo.  
CCG added  CGC to memo.  
CCG added  CAG to memo.  
CCG added  CCT to memo.  
CCG added  CCA to memo.  
CCG added  CCC to memo.  
CCG: VRISKA?  
CAG: Whaaaaaaaat?  
CCG: GOD DAMMIT, I NEED YOUR HELP!!!  
CAG: Aw, isn't that cute.  
CCG: SHUT THE FUCK UP.  
CCG: WHERE EVEN ARE YOU, ANYWAY? I'M ON YOUR FUCKING PLANET AND I CAN'T EVEN FIND YOU!  
CCG: IT'D BE NICE IF THESE FUCKING TREASURE MAPS EVERYWHERE HELPED ME ACTUALLY TRACK YOU DOWN, INSTEAD OF LEADING ME TO ENDLESS CHESTS FULL OF USELESS BULLSHIT.  
CAG: Or you just can't read a map to save your life.  
CCG: AGAIN, SHUT UP.  
CCG: I'M TRYING TO SAVE PEOPLE'S LIVES HERE.  
CCT: D --> E%cuse me  
CCT: D --> Was it really necessary to invite all of us to what has seemed so far to be mostly bickering  
CCG: YES!!!  
CCG: AND IF YOU ACTUALLY LET ME GET THIS SHIT DONE, I MIGHT **ACTUALLY** BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN WHY!!!!!  
CAG: Wow, Karkat, jeeeeeeeez!  
CAG: What is it you want from me, anyway?  
CCG: I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU  
CCG: ABOUT  
CAG: Gamzee?  
CCG: WELL, YES...  
CAG: Oh my god Karkat, who caaaaaaaares????????  
CCG: I DO!  
CCG: AND YOU SHOULD TOO, BECAUSE IT'S YOU NEXT!!!  
CAG: Next????????  
CCG: YES!!!!!!!!  
CCG: IF I PUT EIGHT OF THINGS, WILL YOU LISTEN????????  
CCG: GAMZEE MOTHERFUCKING MAKARA IS RAMPAGING THROUGH OUR SESSION, AND I THINK HE'S ALREADY GOT TAVROS!!!!!!!!  
CCG: AND YOU'RE NEXT IN LINE TO BE KILLED!!!!!!!!  
CAG: What do you mean........  
CAG: "Got Tavros"?  
CCG: HIS LAND'S THE ONE JUST AFTER GAMZEE'S, AND HE'S NOT REPLYING TO MESSAGES.  
CCG: YOU'RE HIS SERVER PLAYER, AREN'T YOU?  
CCG: SEE FOR YOURSELF.  
CAG: Okay........

CAG: Oh  
CAG: oh god  
CAG: no no no no no no no no  
CAC: :33 < what happened to tafurros? :((  
CAG: you don't w8nna know  
CAG: oh god oh god oh god oh god oh g8d oh g8d 8h g8d 8h g8d  
CGA: Shit  
CCG: WELL, THERE WE GO! TAVROS IS DEAD. CAN PEOPLE ACTUALLY START TAKING ME SERIOUSLY NOW?????  
CAG: oh g88888888d  
CAG: and I'm n8xt  
CCA: wwait really  
CCA: so all that poppycock kar was sayin about gam  
CCG: YES, I WAS ACTUALLY TELLING THE FUCKING TRUTH. UNBELIEVABLE.  
CTA: ehehe, gue22 ii'm gonna have two 2tart lii2teniing to you now kk FUCK.  
CCC: Oh my glub...  
CCC: Poor Tavros 38(  
CAC: :33 < this has to be a doomed timeline!  
CAC: :33 < i hope it is... :((  
CTA: no good for u2 iif iit ii2.  
CTA: eiither thii2 ii2 the alpha tiimeliine, or iit ii2n't.  
CTA: both ways, we're doomed.  
CTA: where the fuck ii2 aa, anyway?  
CAC: :33 < oh no, maybe gamz33 caught her too...  
CCT: D --> I doubt it  
CCT: D --> With Aradia's state-of-the-art metal casing, she is neigh-indestructible  
CTA: creep.  
CAC: :33 < hey!  
CAC: :33 < dont say that about him!  
CCT: D --> I must note, with favor, the fact that the highblood has finally embraced the roles of his caste  
CCG: AND YOU'RE SAYING THAT'S A *GOOD* THING??????  
CAG: shiiiiiiiit  
CTA: eheh, ii actually agree wiith vrii2ka for once.  
CCA: oh fuck  
CCA: hes comin for me  
CCA: did i hear a honk just then  
CTA: no, you iimbeciile, he'2 nowhere near you.  
CCA: but i could swwear he is  
CCA: and anywway hes comin for me  
CCA: only a matter a time  
CCC: Eridan, quit glubbing on about t)(is!  
CCC: It's not just you, it's all of us, and panicking isn't going to )(elp!  
CGC: Y3S, TH4NK YOU F3F3R1!  
CGC: *TH3 M1GHTY DR4GONYYYD L3G1SL4C3R4TOR T4K3S TH3 FLOOR, ST4MP1NG H3R SL3ND3R C4N3 ON TH3 GROUND THR33 T1M3S TO G3T 3V3RYON3S 4TT3NT1ON*  
CCG: NOT IN MY FUCKING MEMO SHE DOESN'T.  
CCG: QUIT THE ROLEPLAY ALREADY, IT'S REALLY MORONIC AND JUVENILE.  
CGC: OH, 4ND THROW1NG CONST4NT T4NTRUMS 1SNT????  
CCG: JUST. STOP.  
CGC: 4LR1GHT F1111N3!  
CGC: 4LL OF US N33D TO C4LM TH3 FUCK DOWN  
CGC: W3 4R3 GO1NG TO G3T NOWH3R3 1F W3 K33P SQU4BBL1NG L1K3 W1GGL3RS!  
CGC: 1F W3 F1GHT 4MONG OURS3LV3S, 1T W34K3NS US 4G41NST H1M  
CGC: BUT 1F W3 4LL UN1T3 4ND F1GHT TOG3TH3R, 1T 1MPROV3S OUR CH4NC3S!  
CGC: NOW 1 M1SS POOR CHOCOL4T3Y T4VROS 4S MUCH 4S 3V3RYON3 DO3S  
CGC: BUT TH3R3S NOTH1NG W3 C4N DO 4BOUT H1M NOW  
CGC: H3S D34D 4ND GON3  
CGC: C4NT CH4NG3 TH4T  
CGC: SO FOCUS ON TH3 FUTUR3  
CGC: W3 ST4Y TOG3TH3R, COMB1N3 OUR FORC3S  
CGC: 4ND M4K3 SUR3 NO ON3 3LS3 D13S TOD4Y  
CGC: GOT 1T?  
CCG: QUESTION FOR YOU, OH MIGHTY DRAGONYYYD LEGISLACERATOR.  
CCG: SINCE WHEN WERE YOU THE LEADER?  
CGC: SHUT UP 1M TRY1NG TO H3LP  
CGC: TH1S 1S NO T1M3 FOR 1MM4TUR3 L34D3RSH1P COMPL3X3S  
CGC: 1 KNOW WH4T 1M DO1NG  
CCG: OH, WHOOPEE!!!  
CCG: DON'T WORRY GUYS, TEREZI'S HERE, ALL OUR PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED FOREVER!!!  
CCG: AND I SUPPOSE YOU'RE PLANNING FOR US ALL TO SIT AROUND GORGING OURSELF ON RED CHALK UNTIL GAMZEE COMES TO KILL US ALL.  
CGC: NO, S1LLY  
CGC: OBV1OUSLY 1D K33P 4LL TH3 R3D CH4LK FOR M3!  
CGC: 3V3RYON3 3LS3 G3TS TH3 1CKY COLORS  
CGC: 1M S4V1NG TH3 M1LD3W ON3 JUST FOR YOU >;]  
CTA: holy SHIIT.  
CTA: can you two 2top fliirtiing and actually come up wiith 2omethiing re2embliing a plan?  
CGC: W3LL  
CGC: WH4T 1 W4S _GO1NG_ TO S4Y B3FOR3 K4RK4T 1NT3RRUPT3D M3  
CGC: W4S TH4T 1 4CTU4LLY DO H4V3 4 PL4N  
CGC: 4ND TH4T PL4N 1S FOR 4LL OF US TO GROUP TOG3TH3R ON LOT4F 4ND D3F3ND OURS3LV3S FROM MY H1V3  
CCG: OHH.  
CCG: OOOHHHH.  
CCG: SO, SO, WE'RE ALL GROUPING TOGETHER ON ****YOUR**** PLANET, ARE WE??????????  
CGC: 1 W4S G4MZ33S S3RV3R PL4Y3R!  
CGC: LOT4F 1S 4S M4NY G4T3S 4W4Y FROM H1S PL4N3T 4S W3 C4N G3T  
CCG: IF YOU WERE HIS SERVER PLAYER, WHY DIDN'T YOU CHECK UP ON HIM YOURSELF????  
CCG: WE COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS!  
CGC: S1111GH  
CGC: YOU TH1NK 1 H4V3NT 4LR34DY R34L1Z3D TH4T? >:[  
CGC: 1 D1DNT KNOW H3 W4S RUNN1NG OUT OF SOPOR SL1M3  
CGC: NOT UNT1L 4FT3R YOUR F1RST M3MO 4ND 1 CH3CK3D H1S H1V3  
CGC: JUST TO S33 3X4CTLY HOW MUCH YOU W3R3 BLOW1NG TH1NGS OUT OF PROPORTION  
CGC: WH1CH 1 SOON FOUND OUT W4S NOT 4T 4LL  
CGC: 1M SORRY  
CAG: Holy cr8p! Can you two cut the 8ullshit already????????  
CAC: vwhiskers! youre okay!  
CAG: Yes, of course I'm ok8y. Why wouldn't I 8e????????  
CAG: And I say fuck Terezi's def8nsive plans. We all group tog8ther and fight him head-on!  
CGC: HOW? WH3R3?  
CAG: What do you want, an essay????????  
CAG: We get our shit tog8ther and m8ke the 8astard p8y!  
CGC: OH SUUUUUR3  
CGC: B3C4US3 BRUT3 FORC3 _4LW4YS_ WORKS  
CGC: W3 DONT 3V3N KNOW WH4T H3S C4P4BL3 OF, H3 COULD D3F34T US 4LL 1N S3CONDS!  
CCA: oh fuck  
CCA: oh fuck fuck fuck  
CGC: SHUT UP  
CAG: Shut 8p!  
CAG: Actu8lly I have seen what he's c8pable of.  
CAG: And it 8n't pretty.  
CGC: WH1CH 1S WHY W3 N33D 4 GOOD D3F3NS1V3 POS1T1ON  
CAG: Wh8ch is why we need to concentr8 our forces and give it to h8m all at once!!!!!!!!  
CGC: Y34H, OK4Y!  
CAG: W8, really????????  
CGC: Y3S! WHO N33DS TO TH1NK 4BOUT TH1NGS! L3TS G3T OURS3LV3S 4LL K1LL3D 4T ONC3!  
CAG: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!  
CGC: W3 N33D TO M4K3 4 STR4T3G1C R3TR34T OR W3 M4Y 3ND UP F4C1NG H1M OUT 1N TH3 OP3N!  
CGC: 4ND 1LL M4K3 SUR3 TO PUSH YOU 1N FRONT OF H1M F1RST 1F TH4T H4PP3NS!!!  
CCC: STOP SQUABBLING!!!!!  
CCC: T)(is is -EXACTLY what you were warning us about, Terezi!  
CGC: 1...  
CGC: FUCK  
CCC: We won't be able to get anything decided if you two keep bickering like old kismeses! 3>8(  
CAG: Old kismeses????????  
CAC: :33 < :OO  
CCG: NOPE, NOT HAVING THIS FUCKING CONVERSATION!!  
CCG: SORT OUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER SOME OTHER TIME, YEAH?  
CGC: BUT...  
CGA: Excuse Me  
CGA: I Propose A Compromise  
CGA: We Make Our Way To Lotaf As Per Terezis Suggestion  
CGA: But From There We Adopt An Offensive Stance  
CGA: Waiting For Him To Arrive And Then Launching An Ambush  
CGC: BUT...  
CGA: We May Discuss This Further Once We Reach Terezis Hive  
CGA: For Now Let Us Make Haste  
CGA: Gamzee Is Coming  
CCG: YEAH, WHAT KANAYA SAID.  
CCG: GROUP UP, GO GATE-HOPPING AND MEET UP ON LOTAF.  
CCG: NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.  
CCG banned  CTA from responding to memo.  
CCG banned  CAC from responding to memo.  
CCG banned  CGA from responding to memo.  
CCG banned  CGC from responding to memo.  
CCG banned  CAG from responding to memo.  
CCG banned  CCT from responding to memo.  
CCG banned  CCA from responding to memo.  
CCG banned  CCC from responding to memo.  
CCG closed memo.

grimAuxilatrix [GA] began trolling  carcinoGeneticist [CG]  
GA: Karkat  
CG: HEY, GUESS WHAT, YOU WERE RIGHT.  
CG: SOMEONE DIED, AND NOW EVERYONE BELIEVES ME.  
CG: SHAME THAT, YOU KNOW, HE ACTUALLY HAD TO DIE IN THE PROCESS.  
GA: Karkat  
CG: WHAT.  
GA: Like Terezi Said  
GA: Focus On The Future  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: YEAH, OKAY.  
GA: We Need To Meet Up  
GA: To Form A Group On The Way To Lotaf  
GA: So We Are Better Prepared In Case We Are Intercepted During Our Journey  
CG: GOT IT. WHERE ARE YOU?  
GA: On Loraf  
GA: Where You Left Me  
CG: OH, YEAH, OF COURSE...  
CG: I'M NOT THINKING STRAIGHT.  
GA: Dont Think  
GA: Just Move  
GA: You Will Have Sufficient Time To Collect Your Thoughts Once We Are Encamped In Terezis Hive  
CG: RIGHT. YEAH.  
CG: I'M JUST SO FUCKING TIRED...  
GA: I Know  
GA: Its Unfortunate  
GA: But The Quicker You Can Move  
GA: The Sooner You Can Rest  
GA: Come Now  
GA: Bring Vriska With You  
GA: I Will Meet You Here  
grimAuxilatrix [GA] ceased trolling  carcinoGeneticist [CG]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna have this up on the 16th of January -- my first anniversary of catching up with Homestuck! -- but then I went and incapacitated myself for the rest of the day (and several more afterwards) by spraining my ankle. WHOOPS
> 
> Won't be around for a week or so, as schoolwork's coming at me full-throttle (which would be a lot more scary if I was studying automotive engineering... or aeronautical) and I'll have to deal with that for a bit. In the meantime, [here's another Homestuck fic I did (anonymously, so ssssh!)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1142798) and when I get back, I will be treating you to at least one of: another chapter of Hope/Beforusbent/this; that Andrew Hussie/Ryan North crossover I promised weeks ago (hint: it's Machine of Death) and that ATLA/Homestuck crossover I promised _months_ ago now. As well as working through my "Inbox (324)"...
> 
> So long, farewell, Auf Weidersehen, goodbye!


End file.
